Sumi H. Inkblot

Hello, Emily! And welcome to the YWS. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions on the site. :) Interesting poem, though there are a few things I'd ...

Stupid Home-schooler. (FYI, we're not all that bad. :roll: ) What I'm hoping to see, at the very least, is a god who actually ACTS and walks around as a ...

Regarding Jutsu If you're going to use " -no Jutsu ", try to find a complete translation, or else use "False Demon Wings Technique!" ("The Art of...blah blah blah") or ...

1) Has the story started to get boring yet? 2) Is everything understood better now? Are you still hopelessly confused? 3) How is my description? Where does it need more, ...

1: "Guahahahha" and "Huhuhuhu" are sound effects for manga, not for writing. You can just say, "she was out of breath" or "he laughed eerily" or whatever. Some elements of ...

Hi, Jenna! My first comment is please space it up a little! It's incredibly discouraging to see blocky text, and easy to lose your place when reading. My second and ...

Hello, mohican! There's really not much here for us to critique: though I am quite interested. Elves who are not wise and vague and all that shiz! They might even ...

Hello, Nite! This is an interesting and well-written piece, but I don't quite understand it. Is it the first in a series of chapters? A stand-alone piece? I don't really ...

Hi Woz............ :*ominous silence*: In the beginning of this chapter, I was quite confused. Mostly because I thought this would be the fantasy ship-in-the-sky, like Miyazaki's Castle in the Sky, ...

Woz! This is such an improvement from "MY story"! That's awesome, man. :D 1) Is this a good start? Are you compelled to continue the story? 2) Description? Where do ...

La Esmeralda! What are you doing in the future? :P Just kidding. 1: You should not have to explain to the reader what the story is about. That means that ...

Hello, Pau! Most of my comments on the poem have already been spoken by Leja, so I'll give you a pikthru: --The rhyme scheme. Sometimes it's there, other time it's ...

That is indeed very beautiful. I think you should keep the no-caps -- it emphasizes the poem, I think: it made it feel...free. Get rid of the muah , it's ...

Hello, October! My overall comment on the poem: It's been done before, and you haven't done anything to make this one stand out. I had a hard time focusing on ...

G'evening! Since Pork's already picked at your grammar, I'm here to blah about plot elements and whatnot. 1: Pandora is one of my favorite legends ever. You get points for ...